'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
