its not stalking. its research.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
