Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
