i just google imaged poop.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
