i think my mom watched the whole time
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
