so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
