He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
