I'm drive I can fine osifer
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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