i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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