youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
