when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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