I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
