Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
