It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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