Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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