I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
