Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
