You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it glows. i had to have it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
