i just google imaged poop.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
