Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
