He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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