Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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