By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
