I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
