Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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