Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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