My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
