Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
