Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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