No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
