quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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