I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
do herpes really smell.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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