Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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