put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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