is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
