ugly people sure do ruin things
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
