She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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