She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its not stalking. its research.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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