i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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