I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
