Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
