so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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