It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
