the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
