Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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