Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
