garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
