so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
