They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I need to sanitize my soul.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
