She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
